Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
