i just wanna soil my oats bro
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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