I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
no you cant smoke seaweed
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
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