butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My vagina just clenched in fear
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
