that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
