will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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