her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
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I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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