It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
