Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I am available for nakedness
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
