You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
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Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
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Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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