at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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