I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
