I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
