who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
