i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I wear drunk well.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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