I love black thongs
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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