whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize