I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My vagina just clenched in fear
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
