And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
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