Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
operation harelip BJ is a go
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
