I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
