There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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