dude i'm inner monologue high
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
