Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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