Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
