I didn't shave. On purpose
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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