i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
