The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
