Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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