just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
