oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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