there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
