i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
