I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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