and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you win again, gameday.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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