dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
