dude i'm inner monologue high
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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