I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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