We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
