Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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