Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
