She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
