fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
