Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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