Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
