Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
