I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
