Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
