apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
