Where is the hickey?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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