Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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