:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
