At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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