yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize