honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
