Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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