Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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