I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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