Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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