one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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